OBAMA ON NEW DOLLAR BILL

WASHINGTON – The White House has approved the redesign of U.S. currency.  Barack Obama will be on the new dollar bill.

The Obama Administration feels that the American dollar is in bad need of a makeover.  They have partnered with the Dollar ReDe$ign Project to pick a new design for U.S. currency.  Currently, the design that the administration likes best was done by Dowling Duncan (a British duo), which features a unique vertical design.  It also features President Obama on the one dollar bill.

“We love the Dowling Duncan look.  They’ve come up with a creative design and put President Obama where he belongs… on number 1,” said David Axelrod, Senior Adviser to President Obama.

The Dollar Redesign Project was organized by creative strategy consultant Richard Smith.  He is still soliciting ideas for the dollar bill of the future. “Our great ‘rival’, the Euro, looks so spanky in comparison it seems the only clear way to revive this global recession is to rebrand and redesign,” the project notes on its website.

Here’s the web site for  The Dollar Redesign Project.

“Don’t waste your time submitting a design, it’s a done deal,” said Rahm Emanuel, White House Chief of Staff.  The President wants “change” in the currency and we’ve unanimously picked Dowling Duncan’s work.  Fed Chairman, Benjamin Bernanke, has signed off on our choice for the redesign.  We intend to have the money in circulation by December, 2012.”

Emanuel went on to say that there are plans to redo U.S. coins as well.  “We don’t need a complete redesign of our coins, but we do want to put President Obama on the penny and move President Lincoln to the nickel. Thomas Jefferson, who was on the nickel, will be… discontinued.”  Republican  Congressman Paul Ryan suggested President Obama be  put on both the “nickel and dime” instead of the penny.

Another American icon might also be replaced.  “Uncle Sam is outdated,” said Axelrod.  “We need to update this icon as well.  It will now be Uncle Barack.”

Republicans are apoplectic about the changes the Administration is proposing.  “They won’t get this passed when we get control of the house,” said Minority Leader John Boehner.  “Typical Republicans, they want to block everything, even a little meaningless design issue,” said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.  “It doesn’t matter what they think, we’re going to pass this and every American will be carrying Obama dollars in their wallets and purses come December, 2012.”

FYI:  The Obama dollar will reportedly be worth $0.47.

STUDY: SUGAR MAKES YOU STUPID!

Too much sugar will make you stupid, according to researchers.

The suggestion follows tests in the laboratory comparing high-fructose corn syrup, which is six times sweeter than cane sugar and a common ingredient in processed foods, with omega-3 fatty acids, known to aid memory and learning.

Look at this sugar lover!

In an experiment on rats, one group had a sugary diet for six weeks and another was fed healthily.

At the start of the study, published in the Journal of Physiology, the  University of California team tested how well the rats navigated a maze – placing landmarks to help them learn the way.

Six weeks later, the researchers tested the rats’ ability to recall the route.

Study co-author Professor Fernando Gomez-Pinilla said the rats fed just a sugary diet were slower and their brains had declined.

He said: ‘Eating a high-fructose diet over the long term alters your brain’s ability to learn and remember information.

However, the good news is that eating nuts and fish such as salmon can counteract this disruption. Here’s Professor Fernando Gomez-Pinilla.

‘Our findings illustrate that what you eat affects how you think,’ said Prof Gomez-Pinilla. ‘Adding omega-3 fatty acids to your meals can help minimise the damage.’

While earlier research has revealed how fructose harms the body through its role in diabetes, obesity and fatty liver, this study is the first to uncover how the sweetener influences the brain.

Here’s a major sugar lover:

The researchers were studying the impact of high-fructose corn syrup on rats, who have similar brain chemistry to humans.

The inexpensive liquid is six times sweeter than cane sugar and is commonly added to processed foods such as soft drinks.

We’re not talking about naturally occurring fructose in fruits, which also contain important antioxidants,’ said Prof Gomez-Pinilla.

‘We’re concerned about high-fructose corn syrup that is added to manufactured food products as a sweetener and preservative.’

Prof Gomez-Pinilla and co-author Rahul Agrawal found the brain’s of the rats that each consumed a fructose solution as drinking water for six weeks had changed.

Prof Gomez-Pinilla said: ‘Their brain cells had trouble signaling each other, disrupting the rats’ ability to think clearly and recall the route they’d learned six weeks earlier.’

A closer look at the rats’ brain tissue suggested that insulin had lost much of its power to influence the brain cells.

The authors suspect that eating too much fructose could block insulin’s ability to regulate how cells use and store sugar for the energy required for processing thoughts and emotions.

However, their study also suggests that eating foods rich in omega-3 regularly could protect the brain from the effects of fructose.

Prof Gomez-Pinilla said: ‘It’s like saving money in the bank. You want to build a reserve for your brain to tap when it requires extra fuel to fight off future diseases.’

ED ANGER SAYS: EAT MORE CHICK-FIL-A

I’m madder than a gay rooster stuck in a hen-house about this Chick-fil-A thing.
These gays are kicking my acid reflux into high gear with this talk about boycotting Chick-fil-A.
What do they have against chickens?  We’re not eating gay chickens!  And, by the way, there are no gay chickens!  What came first the gay chicken or the egg?  The egg!  Now, hard-boil that you America-hating poultroons.
Marriage is between a man and a woman.  Period.  That’s it.  End of story.  If you don’t like it go to a small island off Antartica and marry whatever kind of freak you want – just don’t do it around me or the USA.
“I do” is between one man and one woman.  That’s the way it’s been since Eve was made from Adam’s rib. Two men doing the “I do” makes me throw up the tuna fish  I just had for lunch.   Two women?  Well, I’m like any red-blooded American and I’m all for two women kissing… but they don’t get to do the “I do” either.   Nope, not while ole Ed is still alive and belching.
So what does this all have to do with chicken anyway?
It’s that moron Rahmbo Emanuel in Chicago who kicked up this shitstorm.  Where does he get off telling Christians to stop eating chicken?   We don’t tell him to stop kissing Obama’s chocolate ass, where does he get off telling us what to put in our stomachs?  If you ask me the whole thing is because he’s short.  Guy has a Napoleon complex. He’s barely taller than my grandson, Teddy, who just turned six.
Rahm can kiss my ass.  I’m going to eat Chick-fil-A every day until there’s no more chickens on the planet and then I’m going to go after the cows.  Because we who believe in traditional marriage will eat all the chickens and cows and pigs we want.  The gays are not going to stop us.  We’ll eat it all until they go away!
Look at this yummy sandwich:

If you don’t want some of that good-lickin’ chicken then you ain’t American!
Ed is calling on everybody to eat Chick-fil-A.   It’s time to put a stop to gays getting married and time to stand up for traditional marriage!
If you’re on the side of traditional American values – and you better be! – then get off your butt and get out there and eat some chickens!

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MILEY CYRUS TO DO PLAYBOY

LOS ANGELES – Miley Cyrus, who turned 19 on November 23rd, 2011, has done photo spread for Playboy!

Ever since Miley Cyrus turned 18, Hugh Hefner had been trying to sign her up to pose naked in Playboy.  Finally, with the approval of Miley Cyrus’ parents (Billy Ray and Tish), it’s a done deal – according to reports out of Arizona.

The photos were taken the day after her 18th birthday by Playboy’s top photographers, including Vlad Comito. The concept was approved by Hef himself, who says that Miley’s photo spread, will become a worldwide sensation.

The 84-year-old Playboy tycoon always thought the ‘Hannah Montana’ star – who caused controversy in 2008 by posing in just a blanket in Vanity Fair magazine for photographer Annie Leibovitz – would be a hit with readers of the adult magazine after she turns 18.

Hefner  said,  “We are excited to have her appear in the magazine. She’s a very pretty lady.”

Hefner, who thinks he still has three live-in girlfriends (even though they all moved out a year ago), also insists he can’t understand why some people are upset about Miley appearing in the magazine.  “Every woman wants to appear in Playboy,”  said Playboy CEO Sandra Piccoli.  “There’s a lot of  boys that grew up with her, and she is their fantasy girl.  And there are a lot of other men who buy our magazine because they love to see beautiful women.  Miley turned 18, so she is a legal adult and and officially  a woman.”

Playboy feels that the issue will be a smash success.  “If Miley wants to pose naked, as an adult, she has the right to do so,” said Piccoli.

Hefner is not surprised that some Americans object to Miley being in the magazine:  “I think it’s a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.”  Many parents have complained recently about Miley’s new videos which seem racy.  There’s going to be even more complaints when they see her Playboy photo-spread.  Miley has agreed to pose completely naked.

Recently, Miley, has been accused of being too “slutty” – an artistic choice she made for her latest video.  Some may think that the Playboy photos may be a step too far for the young star, but she  will join a long line of celebrities to appear in the magazine:  Denise Richards, Drew Barrymore and Pamela Anderson have previously bared all for the publication.

There’s also concern because Miley is in talks to join the wild indie band, Moses Blue, on the road next summer.

Hugh founded Playboy in 1953, almost 40 years before Miley was born.  Insiders say the elderly Hef is losing some of his mental faculties because he’s started wearing suits, and shoes.  No more bathrobes and slippers.

WWN can confirm that the rumors about Billy Ray, playing a tuba, appearing in the background of some of Miley’s  Playboy photos are completely false, though they may be true.

WWN can also confirm that Billy Ray asked Hef if Playboy would dedicate an entire Playboy issue to him.  “I’ve always wanted to appear naked in Playboy.  I know it’s for guys, but I’m so damn good-looking, I deserve a spread and everyone deserves to be able to look at me naked!”

The Miley Playboy issue should be on newsstands starting one year after her 19th birthday:   it was supposed to come out 11.28.11, but has been postponed by Hef, due to pressure from Miley’s handlers.

Miley is a big girl now, she Can’t Be Tamed:

OBAMA BUYS $40 MILLION ESTATE IN HAWAII

President Obama and his wife just closed on a mansion in Hawaii and plan to move – in January 2013!

Barack and Michelle Obama will be moving to Hawaii in January of 2013.  They have just purchase an estate in close proximity to land owned by the University of Hawaii, where the Obama presidential library and “political center” will be located. The estate is valued at $40 million.

This story was broken by Hillbuzz.org .

Reports out of Washington are that Barack and Michelle are counting on a loss in November and are anxious to return to Hawaii to start their new life.  “They want the kids to attend high school in Hawaii, and they want to be as far away from Washington as possible,” said a source in the White House.

Michelle does not want to move back to Chicago and its winters  and Michelle’s mother, who’s been living in the White House with her daughter and her family, is “absolutely thrilled” to be relocating to Hawaii.

In fact, Michelle Obama’s mother, Marian Robinson, has been bragging about getting to live in Hawaii next, in a $40 million beachfront mansion after leaving the White House.  ”It was fun while it lasted”, Miss Marion is quoted by Chicagoans as saying, “but wait until you see the place they’re buying for Michelle and Barack!”

Here she is with a picture of their mansion in Hawaii:

For the past year, Democrats have been working on locating acceptable property in Hawaii for the Obamas to live. The land and its complex of buildings will be ready to move-into in January and has met all the requirements the Secret Service demands since the Obamas will be granted continued protection, by law, for nine years after Barack leaves office.

The Reagans, Clintons, and second Bush family all had their post-presidential homes purchased quietly on the side by friends when their times in office were coming to an end. The Obamas are doing the same thing now.

The woman who is organizing the funding of the Obama’s post-presidential estate is Penny Pritzker (pictured above with the Obamas).  She is also in charge of raising the donations for Obama’s presidential library and museum.  Pritzker is a billionaire who in recent years resolved a long-standing family feud over her late father’s vast business empire that includes the Hyatt Hotel chain as well as assorted manufacturing operations.

The wealthiest families in Chicago are being leaned on heavily to contribute with Penny aggressively guilting them with “appeals of you don’t want the President to be homeless in January, do you?”

There’s a movie theater in the mansion and it already is set up to play ALL of Obamas speeches over the last 20 years – in a continuous loop.

Joe Biden was also interested in buying a house in Hawaii, but the Obamas are encouraging him to find a place in Florida.  “Joe will be much happier there and the Obamas… well, they’ve seen enough of Joe,” said a source in the White House.

Even though the polls in the Presidential election are close, President Obama is already making his plans for January.

SO,  the Obamas will be leaving the White House soon… Hawaii, here they come!

US points to 'gross negligence' by BP

The US justice department is blaming BP PLC for the massive 2010 oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, describing in new court papers examples of what it calls "gross negligence and willful misconduct".

The court filing is the sharpest position yet taken by the US government as it seeks to hold the British oil giant largely responsible for the largest oil spill, as well as the largest environmental disaster, in US history.

Gross negligence

Gross negligence is a central issue to the case, scheduled to go to trial in New Orleans in January 2013. A gross negligence finding could nearly quadruple the civil damages owed by BP under the Clean Water Act to $21bn.

The US government and BP are engaged in talks to settle civil and potential criminal liability, though neither side will comment on the status of negotiations.

Returning to the Gulf two years after the BP oil spill

"The behaviour, words and actions of these BP executives would not be tolerated in a middling size company manufacturing dry goods for sale in a suburban mall," government lawyers wrote in the filing on August 31 in federal court in New Orleans.

The filing comes more than two years after the disaster that struck on April 20, 2010 when a surge of methane gas known to rig hands as a "kick" sparked an explosion aboard the Deepwater Horizon rig as it was drilling the mile-deep Macondo 252 well off Louisiana's coast. The rig sank two days later.

The well gushed at least 4.9 million barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico for 87 straight days, unleashing a torrent of oil that fouled the shorelines of four Gulf Coast states and eclipsed the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill in Alaska in severity.

Al Jazeera's Dahr Jamail, who has covered the disaster from the beginning, believes the government's statement is an accurate portrayal of BP's actions that led to the disaster, and that it underscores the fact that the impacted areas of the Gulf continue to suffer environmental impacts.

"This filing means that government agencies now stand behind some key allegations made by regional scientists and fishermen," Jamail said, "And that is that BP isn’t telling the truth when it tries to convince the American people, via an ongoing nationwide PR campaign, that everything is back to normal in the Gulf and that BP is a responsible company. The reality is that the fishing industry continues to suffer, there are ongoing seafood malformations and deformities, and large areas where there is still oil."

Specifically, errors made by BP and Swiss-based Transocean Ltd, owner of the Deepwater Horizon platform, in deciphering a key pressure test of the Macondo well are a clear indication of gross negligence, the Justice Department said.

"That such a simple, yet fundamental and safety-critical test could have been so stunningly, blindingly botched in so many ways, by so many people, demonstrates gross negligence," the government said in its 39-page filing.

BP rejection

BP rejects the charge. "BP believes it was not grossly negligent and looks forward to presenting evidence on this issue at trial in January," the company said in a statement. A Transocean spokesman had no immediate comment.

On August 13, BP urged US District Judge Carl Barbier to approve an estimated $7.8bn settlement reached with 125,000 individuals and businesses, asserting its actions "did not constitute gross negligence or willful misconduct".

The government said Barbier should avoid making any finding about BP's potential gross negligence when he rules on the settlement. Barbier will hold a fairness hearing on that settlement on November 8.

Barbier should also disregard claims made by BP that minimise the environmental and economic impacts of the spill, the government said, citing environmental harms like severe ill health of dolphins in Louisiana's Barataria Bay, which saw some of the heaviest oiling from the spill.

Exasperation

The filing does exhibit exasperation on the part of government lawyers. They wrote that they decided to elaborate on BP's alleged gross negligence because they believed BP was trying to escape full responsibility.

The justice department said they feared that "if the United States were to remain silent, BP later may urge that its arguments had assumed the status of agreed facts".

iPhone 5: Everything, that at Nam of famous today

EARTH TO COLLIDE WITH NIBIRU ON NOVEMBER 21, 2012!

UPDATE: NASA scientists have reportedly confirmed that the planet Nibiru will collide with Earth in November of this year.

The Nibiru collision with Earth in 2012 has been predicted for a long time, but astrophysicists, cosmologists and astronomers around the world have now come to a consensus that Earth will indeed collide with the planet, which lies just outside Pluto.

Nibiru, in Babylonian Astronomy translates to “Point of Transition” or ”Planet of Crossing,”  especially of rivers, i.e. river crossings or ferry-boats, a term of the highest point of the ecliptic, i.e. the point of summer solstice, and its associated constellation. The establishment of the Nibiru point is described in tablet 5 of the Enuma Elish. Its cuneiform sign was often a cross, or various winged disc. The Sumerian culture was located in the fertile lands between the Euphrates and Tigris rivers, at the southern part of today’s Iraq.

As the highest point in the paths of the planets, Nibiru was considered the seat of the summus deus who pastures the stars like sheep, in Babylon identified with Marduk. This interpretation of Marduk as the ruler of the cosmos was identified as an early monotheist tendency in Babylonian religion by Alfred Jeremias.

Natural disasters are accelerating exponentially and astronomers believe that they are being caused by Nibiru coming closer and closer to Earth.

BLACKBIRDS FALL FROM NEW JERSEY SKY

Residents in a Cumberland County, NJ were left wondering Tuesday  what caused thousands of birds to drop dead from the sky.

At  least 8,000 birds — mostly red-winged blackbirds — on the ground dead having fallen from trees and the sky.

“Crazy — something out of a horror movie,” said resident Denise Fennelli who saw the birds fall from the sky.

The birds caused a bloody mess on roadways, businesses and residential neighborhoods.

“They’d get up and attempt to fl, but they were out of control so they’d crash and fall again,” said resident Justin Winters. ”It was just strange.  It was like the end of the world or something.”

Commission ornithologist Julie Zeireski said the he birds showed physical trauma,  but had several alien burn markings on their wings.   “I’ve examined thousands of blackbirds in my basement and have never seen anything like this before.”  She first speculated that the flock could have been hit by lightning or high-altitude hail.  She was wrong.

US Extraterrestrial Expert, General Jim Bellanca of the U.S. Marines, told WWN that the government has confirmed thousands of reports of a UFO in the area, prior to the bird droppings.  “For some reason the UFO decided to open fire on the blackbirds.  We’re not sure what caused them to attack, but it does have us very concerned.”

New Jersey revelers, who were shooting off fireworks in the area, may have confused the aliens.  “They may have thought they were under attack and, as a warning, took out the blackbirds, ” Bellanca said.

There have been an increasing, and alarming, number of UFO reports in the last four months.  The United Nation’s Panel on Extraterrestrials has issued a report outlining an ongoing Alien Invasion – which began in 2011 and will continue until 2015.  This may be the first official shots fired by a UFO on any living animal on Earth.

Robby Planker, a wildlife officer for the CIA, collected about 65 dead birds, which will be sent for testing to the state Livestock and Poultry Commission lab and the National Wildlife Health Center lab, housed in the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia.

Planker said that over three dozen New Jersey owls and about fifty Jersey cows were also killed the same night.  All had The Mark of Alien on them. Dr. Susan Begley, the head of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials says that the aliens that killed the birds are from Planet Gootan.  “This is typical Gootan behavior.  We have noticed an increase of Gootan attacks on mammals all across the globe.  We are keeping a close eye on the situation,”  Begley told WWN.

As usual, the government is busy covering up all mention of UFO activity in New Jersey, but Chris Christie reportedly had this comment, “What are you an idiot?  Of course, it was aliens that killed the birds.  What else can it be?  Idiot.”

CITIZENS WANT CONGRESS TO LEGALIZE BOMBS

A broad array of civic, religious, ethnic group have banded together to lobby Congress for the right to “bare bombs.”

The U.S. Constitution states: “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”  These groups want Congress to clarify that their 2nd Amendment Rights extend to explosive devices, such as M67 fragmentation grenades http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M67_grenade, MK3 concussion grenades, as well as Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs), pipe bombs or Molotov cocktails that citizens can build at home.

Here’s a happy pro-bomb supporter with his homemade bomb:

Ted Nugent, spoke at the protest, receiving strong support for his pro-bomb message.

The protestor’s signs clearly express their view:  ”Bombs, a shooter’s worst nightmare! Congress – don’t make US citizens take Knives to a Gun fight.”   and “I’ll call your AK-47 and raise you with a pipebomb, mothaf***a.”

Newt Gingrich also is a strong advocate for bombs and concealed carry permits for people who want to carry bombs with them everywhere they go.

Wisconsin Reformed Sikh Rabbi,  Hardeep Singh, explained, ”Our government has shown little backbone in standing up to the gun lobby to protect us from gun violence. We are lobbying Congress to legalize the purchase, manufacture, possession and use of small ‘personal bombs’ for our protection.”  Following a slate of needless gun violence across the nation, including in Colorado and recently in Wisconsin, many disparate groups have banded together for a solution.

The pro-bomb lobby has strong support from people from all walks of life:

Protestors joining with the NRA include high school students, movie-goers, religious groups such as Sikhs, Baptists and Hare Krishna that have fallen victim to unchecked gun access & violence.  They have banded together with the Tea Bag Party, survivalists, the legally blind, conscientious gun objectors, those with severe mental disorders and even brush-clearers in Crawford Texas

A spokesperson for Amnesty International was even reported to support the movement behind the scenes: “Bear Arms – we ain’t even started openin’ a can o’ whoopass on those pistol packing’ pussies.”   Home Depot & Loews were rumored to have launched back to school promotions featuring lead pipe, nails, fertilizer and pea gravel.”

MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT – OF FACEBOOK

Mitt Romney looked at the compensation package for U.S. President and decided it would be better to pursue a better job: President of Facebook.

Mitt Romney was briefed on the executive compensation of the sought after US presidency and  was visibly horrified by the  measly pay package.  He  dispatched his aides to find a sweeter payday.

After much research, the Romney campaign today announced it was cutting ties with the Republican Party and focusing on more lucrative roles in corporate America. They have their sites set on Facebook. Mr. Romney will announce his new campaign today and sources confirm he’s dumping his running mate in order “to negotiate a more substantial signing bonus.” Romney reportedly said:  “I never understood that second in command stuff – it just seems sort of gay.”

“Besides, in the private sector you are sheltered from the unwashed masses and boy are their a lot of them! No more buses for this guy!”  Romney went on to say.

Facebook executives are thrilled because the stock has been tanking since the IPO.  “Romney is good at turning companies around and we need an about-Facebook.  This company is in trouble and we need the Mormon Miracle Worker to help save us,” said a Facebook executive.

The Obama campaign was conflicted by the news, balancing the prospect of a less wealthy candidate with a fear of an unemployment tsunami from “Outsourcing Mitt’s” return to the private sector.