MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT – OF FACEBOOK

Mitt Romney looked at the compensation package for U.S. President and decided it would be better to pursue a better job: President of Facebook.

Mitt Romney was briefed on the executive compensation of the sought after US presidency and  was visibly horrified by the  measly pay package.  He  dispatched his aides to find a sweeter payday.

After much research, the Romney campaign today announced it was cutting ties with the Republican Party and focusing on more lucrative roles in corporate America. They have their sites set on Facebook. Mr. Romney will announce his new campaign today and sources confirm he’s dumping his running mate in order “to negotiate a more substantial signing bonus.” Romney reportedly said:  “I never understood that second in command stuff – it just seems sort of gay.”

“Besides, in the private sector you are sheltered from the unwashed masses and boy are their a lot of them! No more buses for this guy!”  Romney went on to say.

Facebook executives are thrilled because the stock has been tanking since the IPO.  “Romney is good at turning companies around and we need an about-Facebook.  This company is in trouble and we need the Mormon Miracle Worker to help save us,” said a Facebook executive.

The Obama campaign was conflicted by the news, balancing the prospect of a less wealthy candidate with a fear of an unemployment tsunami from “Outsourcing Mitt’s” return to the private sector.